Which path to take?

Right now... I'm still confused whether to leave or stay...

If I leave I'm not sure if I'll be able to start a career on IT.

If I don't take the risk... I won't be able to move on... *sigh*

Longing for love...

My previous relationships failed leaving me heartbroken, confused and lonely.

All these years... I've been searching for someone to love me for what I really am. To love me completely...

It makes me wonder why it failed. Was is because all those years I've been struggling to make my relationship work because I fear I might lose him and end up alone and miserable?

"Yes".

I knew all along that it is bound to fail but still my hopes of making it work prevailed. I kept struggling to make it work. I ignored all the signs. Hoping it might just work... with a little push.

And now here I am...alone again.

Why? because I kept searching for love.

My friends told me not to search for love. Just wait for it to come knocking at my door. But I don't have time to wait. The clock is ticking and I'm not getting any younger. Sad but true.

I dread the day that I would see myself living all alone by myself. I need a companion. A lifetime companion. I need someone to share my life with. My love... my sorrows...my happiness...

Others might say oh you're still young you'll find someone to love you someday.

For me the word "someday"...sounds so distant.

"You should learn to be patient...patience is a virtue. God gives the best to those who wait."

Waiting... even if it takes time...

I will teach myself to wait until the right time comes. Maybe this time, I might find the ONE I've been searching all these years.